When I met Julien again, all the confusion about Kaleem dissolved. It is so strange – him being Mrs Kettle during the day. We worked together like the best of buddies. Then she would turn up at my door in the evening, go into my bathroom, be there about twenty minutes and then this gorgeous young man would come out.
He’s different with me now. He’s not the old jokey Julien. That was just a cover, I think. He’s a serious, strong, reliable, very sexy lover. It is different from the way it was with Kaleem. It’s a more mature relationship. I can’t really compare them as people or as lovers and I won’t.
There is an edge to all of this. There is some excitement in the secretiveness of it. And I think I’m enjoying that. Goodness, it’s not as if things were all that quiet and peaceful with Kaleem. When we were in the Zone then, life was not exactly easy. But at least, I suppose, I was with him all of the time. With Julien there is a sense of grabbing a moment.
And now I’m back in the Normal Zone, and can’t know when I’ll see him again. He doesn’t know when he might get a chance to get back. When he’s not in the NIZ, he’s at the Citadel. That would be something, I suppose – to get into the Citadel. It’s not as if I can go to the Attachment’s Centre – our relationship is a secret. And I don’t know when I’ll be going back to the NIZ.
I felt a little sad on our last night together. But I don’t feel as clingy with him as I did with Kaleem. It’s adding to the excitement, not knowing when we can be together again.
I had an evening with the girls last night. I think they sensed something.
“You seem perky,” said Tandra. “What have you been up to?”
“Just glad to be back form the NIZ,” I said. Oh dear, I shall have to be careful.
But I think I like this. I really like this. I have my freedom to come and go as I please, and then the excitement of wondering if and when … I think I can understand those people who don’t settle with one attachment. Not that I’m thinking of taking on more than one lover at a time, of course.